importance

Importance

“I think I no longer am important to you..”

“You are important to me.”

“But what you’re saying right now and what you portray are two different things. If I am important to you, you will make me feel that I am important to you. However, you are making me feel ‘unintentionally’ worthless”
“I also do not want the things that are happening right now between us”

“If you do not, then how were you able to cope up of me angry with you? If you say that I am important, you ought to make time and not bypass”

This was a recent conversation I had with my significant other, and him making me feel worthless. We always have a fight now and then, I mean, our relationship isn’t perfect. But amidst its imperfection, his imperfection, my imperfection – we still love each other back nonetheless (so far haha).

However, this is not my point. This morning, some thought just struck me and I just want to share it, or even let me recall such things too to myself once in a while, that if we sometimes feel that we are worthless by someone who are important to us, there may also be those times that we too have also committed the same mistake with others.

Actually, I don’t really mind if I got bypassed by people. It has happened several times already. But the event above has happened between my significant other, so I have to call his attention also for my sake of own importance and his, just to realize the importance of each other’s feelings if we want to make our relationship work.

Another scenario, likewise has happened between friendship, and for me, this can totally be bypassed. I’m just trying to make the same point, hoping it may be clearer from another perspective. It’s not that I’m counting or something; it’s just that it’s another situation where I recall I was bypassed by this friend, but would totally disregard it if no one had noticed, but someone did for he was a witness. And during that moment, I saw through another pair of eyes of that scenario, through him, how people could nonchalantly, unintentionally, and easily “hurt” a person without that person even knowing of it. Furthermore, if that person who was hurt tends to just keep it silent for himself; thus, letting the other person who did the action “may keep on doing it to others (and to me) and still not know that he too has ‘sinned’ unknowingly.”

Now, my point (haha). If you are a practicing Christian, during this Lenten Season we have sacrifices as a way of commemorating for Jesus’ fight for his temptations and sufferings, for this is the season where he has fought and died for us. For the whole Christianity, we are encouraged to sacrifice not to eat meat on Fridays and to have abstinence. For the smaller groups or clusters in our area, or even personally just to ourselves, we have our own additional abstinence from whatever we choose to refrain from doing (or eating, or w.e.). Personally, I try to abstain from chocolates and even from playing games on FB (which are totally addictive). Technically, I try to refrain from eating or doing what I love and like, and focus entirely on what I need.

Sadly, from the start of the season, I still don’t have a perfect week (short length goals to attain long length goals subsequently for me) from my list of sacrifices. I may fulfill some, but failed on the others. It is truly a challenge for me this year, for I added new things in the list to make it “harder” since I think it seems to me that I nearly aced my sacrifices last year. But this year, admittedly I’m still failing. I’m not being hard on myself (but usually I am), but sadly it’s just the plain truth. Moreover, I omit them too on a Wednesday or on Friday which is The Day of the Sacrifice in the Week.

Now being left with at least two weeks from now until Easter Sunday, I still push myself to do better and to abstain better. I’m able and to truly say that I am really weak. Then I began to ponder during Jesus’ time and how he aced his temptations and think of others, of us, instead of Him; through self-denial, self-discipline, and self-restraint. It’s truly and definitely a struggle.

Comparing my sacrifices from Jesus’ sacrifices.. and God’s sacrifice, mine is really a minuscule compared from them. And yet, I cannot refrain myself from abstaining from it. If I give importance to Jesus’ and God’s sacrifices, give its worth rather than my likes and wants, and imitate them -- then maybe, I can again ace my new set of abstinence and feel the importance of this season. Because not giving importance on Their sacrifices are also likewise saying that what They did for us do not matter; thus, They too has ceased to matter -- especially in my life.

The season is not even for a lifetime, but only a few days of the year. Regaining one’s self-denial on things that may not be needed in life, can totally affect one’s whole being of nature and how one can see life. This season is for our soul, for nourishing, revitalizing, and rejuvenating it. It is also a season for knowing ourselves better, our personality, and our character. There is only one Me; and it is also up to Me of taking care of it and giving its worth, and its importance, through which our Jesus Christ has shown and given when He sacrificed Himself, in order to regain ourselves.